Virtual Church

Walking around Sunshine Cathedral Second Life, I felt as though I was touring a physical world church. I like the idea that I can click on a study guide and get information about a book or Bible study that will be held there. I also like that I can click on a large video screen and watch a pastor's sermon from a physical church.

The question that springs to mind is: how is this virtual church different from a church's web page? The answer comes when the church service begins. Unlike on a web page, I actually heard the short sermon presented as it was going out to the rest of the attending avatars.

As I participated in the service, I was aware that others shared this encounter with me. The service was a different experience from when I toured the church on my own. I could follow the examples of the more experienced avatars and could add amen or other responses when I desired to do so. I could have also sat and never typed/uttered a word. After the service, some of the more regular attendees spoke to me. Again I was aware that I was not alone during this time.

As Douglas Estes said in SimChurch, some people who have social anxieties find a virtual church to be a safer place to socialize and develop relationships. I can certainly see the advantage when "virtual-world interactions can be far more authentic and far less awkward than real-world relationships...." (27) In addition to those with social anxieties, those people, who are not familiar with mainstream churches, "will prefer to worship in the virtual world because of the flexibility, transparency, diversity, and other innate strengths found in most virtual churches." (28)

The experience of virtual church felt like more than if I'd been on a web page. I felt like I had been somewhere. As someone who doesn't routinely function in the virtual world, I have to say I'm not sure where I've been. If someone who is comfortable moving about Second Life, I can certainly see the appeal of attending church with others who have similar interests.

Virtual Community?

As I examine virtual worlds and avatars, I wonder if I can develop community/relationships while I am the only person in the room. This idea seems crazy when I consider how I developed the current relationships I have at MCC Lubbock. I interact in person to my friends while at church. I "pass the peace" by shaking hands and/or hugging others. Our skin touches.

In the virtual world my avatar can touch others and speak to others, but is it the same? This far-out idea (far out to this 40-something) feels foreign and unwieldy. I'm already awkward in person. In the virtual world, I'm not even sure if that person is talking to me. I don't know how to walk up and have a conversation in this world any better than I do in the physical world.

A few days before the church service at Sunshine Cathedral Second Life, I scoped it out. I tried to walk and ended up on top of a pew and later a table. I don't know how I got up there and wasn't sure how to get off of them. At that point I consoled myself that at least I was in the church on the island where I had planned to be. Earlier I had fallen into the water and took nearly 20 minutes trying to figure out how to get back on dry land.

I found myself saying "Why would anyone want to do this?" As I heard these words in my head, I thought of my dad complaining about Facebook, "Why would you tell people what you are doing and where you are doing it? That's how burglars figure out where to strike next."

...Okay, so maybe I can give this virtual thing another try. After all I have created a community on Facebook where some of my friends are across the country, some are down the street, and most I haven't seen in over a year. If I can be in community in this form, I suppose I could try to it with computer people who have wings or look like cats.

After all I am in relationship with God who is not often present in fleshly form.

Communion

The lights in the sanctuary dimmed in preparation of Communion. The pastor asked everyone to go to God in prayer. I sat silently thinking to myself, “Can I go to Communion? Is it sacrilegious to participate when I didn’t really believe? I need to feel another person’s touch. What am I supposed to do?”

I struggled with my thoughts as the head usher stepped beside my row. The usher had moved on to the next row before I could make my body move. As I stepped into the aisle, I felt like every person knew that I was a skeptic. I gasped for shallow breaths expecting at any moment that someone would tell me to sit down.

When my turn finally came, I went to the first server available. The woman gave me the elements, softly saying, “Receive the body and blood of Jesus.” Then she laid her hand on my shoulder and whispered a quiet blessing. Her gentle touch seemed to tell me that she welcomed me into fellowship with her.

That first Sunday I accepted communion (definitely with a small “c”) with the people of MCC Lubbock. As defined by the dictionary communion can be an “interchange or sharing of thoughts or emotions” and “the act of sharing, or holding in common.” Because I was able to step forward and begin a deeper relationship on that Sunday, I was later able to accept Communion with and from God. I had to learn that others were accessible to me before I could grasp God’s presence in my life.

Stranger at the Table

Last Sunday the guest preacher was concluding his sermon as a woman walked into church and moved to sit on the front pew. Our congregation shifted uncomfortably with knowledge that the woman was a stranger, extremely late, and dressed in old, torn clothes. A few whispers were heard as church members struggled with the idea that a stranger would walk past several empty pews to sit on the front row. Concern that she would disrupt our service was what several of us thought.

After the sermon hymn, I moved to the front so that I could consecrate the elements for Communion. I stood behind God's Table and as is the tradition at most MCCs I welcomed all who came seeking God. After distributing the elements to the other servers, I took my place as a server. The woman sat on that front row looking at me with sad eyes and I beckoned to her. She whispered, "Are you sure? I can come? I didn't know if it would be okay." This woman, Glenda, was a stranger at God's Table not because the church members didn't know her and not because God had thrown her away, but because she believed that we, as a church, and God, as divine judge, viewed her as unworthy of receiving grace.

As I began writing about the blessing I received from Glenda's presence, I realized that God was using her to speak to me. Glenda has been a recurring indicator of where God is leading my ministry and today as I write, I finally am listening to what God has to say. Glenda doesn't realized or remember that she and I have met on several previous occasions. Twice she has come to MCC Lubbock, once for a service and another time for our garage sale. Another time I ran into her at my local phone store when I was paying my bill. Each instance I clearly remember our interactions and her ever-present need for acceptance and understanding.

This week as we read and study about ministering off the beaten paths I acknowledge that Glenda is a "big fish" for me. A close friend dubbed each incident of God trying to direct me as a "big fish" and often reminds me that ignoring God's call might land me in the same predicament as Jonah faced. Over the past couple of years I have been trying my hardest to ignore that God is calling me to work outside of a mainstream church. Although I have acknowledged that I will probably be ministering to those who feel rejected by society, I have celebrated the idea that God wants me to serve those who are on the fringes of society and who may feel excluded from conventional churches.

Last Sunday as I held Glenda while she sobbed, I recognized that I not only embraced a hurting woman, but also the idea that I was made to minister to others who feel removed from God. This one opportunity wasn't terrifying or taxing. In fact I felt joy from comforting Glenda and showing her the love that God has put in each of our hearts. God has created me to welcome the stranger to the table and then sit with him or her while we eat.

Reconnection

Recently I've been reconnecting with friends who I haven't seen in many years. Facebook has been an amazing opportunity to find people who I knew from childhood. Sometimes when I send a message or a request to someone, I don't feel very sure of myself. Does this person want to have contact with me? Are we going to relate to each other as well as we did when we were younger? A lot of concerns and fears come when I think about reuniting with old friends.

I also felt this way when I reconnected with God. In a sense God was a friend with whom I had lost contact. I had walked away from God and didn't look back until my emotional life became such a mess that I was desparate. I had pretty much said, "God, you are of no use to me. I'm leaving." As a human I know how I would react to someone treating me that way. "If that's the way you feel, good riddance. I don't need you either."

When I approached God after my planned ignoring, I waited for the disdain and aloofness that would be expected from humans. I tried to sneak into church as a casual observer. First God wasn't going to allow me to sit on the sidelines. And second God didn't react as I expected. I was welcomed much as the prodigal son in the parable. God didn't lay any guilt on me for the way I had behaved or for my absence. I was welcomed with love and understanding.

I had never understood that God wasn't like us humans. God knows that I have faults and need to grow in many areas. Instead of holding it against me, God greets me with a hospitality that I have rarely extended to those who hurt me.

I have begun to realize when I am asked to be like God that this type of hospitality may be what is expected of me. Am I willing to put aside old hurts to see the changes in people or in myself? Do I keep my grudges close to my heart where they can never be healed? Or do I try to offer grace as Jesus did for us?

It's a small world

This afternoon I attended a holy union at my church. While there I met a man who earned a master's degree from Harvard Divinity School. We chatted a bit about Cambridge and he suggested that we go to lunch sometime to discuss spiritual stuff. He also gave me a couple of suggestions for some authors to check into.

What amazes me is that in Lubbock, Texas I met someone who has a connection to Cambridge. This past spring I met a man at my interfaith group who graduated from EDS and is a retired Episcopal priest in Lubbock. Really this world is very small.

The internet isn't even the thing that makes us connected. I didn't meet either of these people online. Yes the world wide web makes our world smaller, but I think what connects us and helps us make links to each other is God. If I figured the odds, they would be pretty slim that I would meet these people. However when God decides to put people together, there's no stopping the process.