Communion

The lights in the sanctuary dimmed in preparation of Communion. The pastor asked everyone to go to God in prayer. I sat silently thinking to myself, “Can I go to Communion? Is it sacrilegious to participate when I didn’t really believe? I need to feel another person’s touch. What am I supposed to do?”

I struggled with my thoughts as the head usher stepped beside my row. The usher had moved on to the next row before I could make my body move. As I stepped into the aisle, I felt like every person knew that I was a skeptic. I gasped for shallow breaths expecting at any moment that someone would tell me to sit down.

When my turn finally came, I went to the first server available. The woman gave me the elements, softly saying, “Receive the body and blood of Jesus.” Then she laid her hand on my shoulder and whispered a quiet blessing. Her gentle touch seemed to tell me that she welcomed me into fellowship with her.

That first Sunday I accepted communion (definitely with a small “c”) with the people of MCC Lubbock. As defined by the dictionary communion can be an “interchange or sharing of thoughts or emotions” and “the act of sharing, or holding in common.” Because I was able to step forward and begin a deeper relationship on that Sunday, I was later able to accept Communion with and from God. I had to learn that others were accessible to me before I could grasp God’s presence in my life.