Reconnection

Recently I've been reconnecting with friends who I haven't seen in many years. Facebook has been an amazing opportunity to find people who I knew from childhood. Sometimes when I send a message or a request to someone, I don't feel very sure of myself. Does this person want to have contact with me? Are we going to relate to each other as well as we did when we were younger? A lot of concerns and fears come when I think about reuniting with old friends.

I also felt this way when I reconnected with God. In a sense God was a friend with whom I had lost contact. I had walked away from God and didn't look back until my emotional life became such a mess that I was desparate. I had pretty much said, "God, you are of no use to me. I'm leaving." As a human I know how I would react to someone treating me that way. "If that's the way you feel, good riddance. I don't need you either."

When I approached God after my planned ignoring, I waited for the disdain and aloofness that would be expected from humans. I tried to sneak into church as a casual observer. First God wasn't going to allow me to sit on the sidelines. And second God didn't react as I expected. I was welcomed much as the prodigal son in the parable. God didn't lay any guilt on me for the way I had behaved or for my absence. I was welcomed with love and understanding.

I had never understood that God wasn't like us humans. God knows that I have faults and need to grow in many areas. Instead of holding it against me, God greets me with a hospitality that I have rarely extended to those who hurt me.

I have begun to realize when I am asked to be like God that this type of hospitality may be what is expected of me. Am I willing to put aside old hurts to see the changes in people or in myself? Do I keep my grudges close to my heart where they can never be healed? Or do I try to offer grace as Jesus did for us?